Hi, I'm Matt or Matty depending on your preference. My line between serious and funny varies a lot so you never know what you'll get.

23rd September 2014

Post reblogged from The Best of Humor & Entertainment with 20,704 notes

liquidglue:

liquidglue:

liquidglue:

liquidglue:

'cause the players gonna play play play play play

alligators alligate gate gate gate gate

elevators elevate vate vate vate vate

shake it off

Source: liquidglue

23rd September 2014

Photoset reblogged from Once you go Zack you never go back with 187,034 notes

pitchs-daughter:

Source: elsa-snowqueen

22nd September 2014

Post reblogged from Everyone has it, but no one can lose it with 132,553 notes

commanderabutt:

poppypicklesticks:

misogyny-mermaid:

machina-rex:

atlasflames:

jillyfishfillet:

it’s 2014 why do boys still think girls like the smell of axe

idk bout u but i love the smell of an axe in my hands. smells like wood polish and cold iron. smells like power and fear. 

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Or maybe boys wear axe for themselves and don’t need to do things for women’s approval.

 Ooooooooooooooh

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Source: jillyfishfillet

22nd September 2014

Post reblogged from Craziness! with 377,186 notes

cupcake-fallen-angel:

vidreebro:

ahsadler:

phils-mum-and-llama-placentas:

bangtidyniall:

I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

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RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

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FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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IT’S STARTED

IT’S AUGUST YOU MANIACS

someone’s getting coal this year

IT’S FUCKING SEPTEMBER WHO BROUGHT IT BACK

Source: breakfastburritosattiffanys

22nd September 2014

Photo reblogged from {i'll take you away} with 214,788 notes

shitshilarious:

queerqueerspawn:

james-tiqueerius:

queerqueerspawn:

glampersand:

glowcloud:

kittiesinqueerland:

robalyn:

the highlighted area is where Jason Derulo knows what the girls want. london to taiwan.

new york to haiti

greenland is right out

ummm no offense but new york to haiti should be measured as the area between the two latitudes, not the longitudes. this graph is incorrect and vastly underestimates the total region of the earth in which Jason Derulo knows what the girls want

Even measuring that way, Greenland remains right out, as does the entirity of Brazil.

Have we considered measuring by neither latitude nor longitude but in all area that would extend perpendicular from the diagonal of the two places?There are many different interpretations of the data, and until more is available, we ought not conclude anything at this point.

In light of that, I posit this alternative map of regions where Jason Derulo is potentially claiming where he knows what girls want:

As we can see, if we assume that model, the vast majority of the area where Jason Derulo knows what girls want is either open ocean (the Atlantic, the Mediterranean Sea) or sparsely populated (the northern Sahara, the northern Arabian Desert, various desert portions of Iran and Afghanistan, and the southern Tibetan Plateau). Four of the ten most populated countries on the planet have no territory in it (Nigeria, Brazil, Japan, and Indonesia), and two which do have relatively little territory in it (the US and Russia). It is suggested that for all his boasting, Jason Derulo does not know what a probable majority of the world’s girls want.

Perhaps Jason Derulo’s intention was never to proclaim to be omnipotent to the interests of the female gender. Perhaps he was instead expressing his humanity, or the limits of his knowledge. I applaud Jason Derulo. Jason Derulo is not just another 2 dimensional character. Jason Derulo has depth.Jason Derulo has limitations and has come to terms with them. Jason Derulo knows Jason Derulo. Thats why he makes it a point to say his name so much.

shitshilarious:

queerqueerspawn:

james-tiqueerius:

queerqueerspawn:

glampersand:

glowcloud:

kittiesinqueerland:

robalyn:

the highlighted area is where Jason Derulo knows what the girls want. london to taiwan.

new york to haiti

greenland is right out

ummm no offense but new york to haiti should be measured as the area between the two latitudes, not the longitudes. this graph is incorrect and vastly underestimates the total region of the earth in which Jason Derulo knows what the girls want

Even measuring that way, Greenland remains right out, as does the entirity of Brazil.

Have we considered measuring by neither latitude nor longitude but in all area that would extend perpendicular from the diagonal of the two places?

There are many different interpretations of the data, and until more is available, we ought not conclude anything at this point.

In light of that, I posit this alternative map of regions where Jason Derulo is potentially claiming where he knows what girls want:

As we can see, if we assume that model, the vast majority of the area where Jason Derulo knows what girls want is either open ocean (the Atlantic, the Mediterranean Sea) or sparsely populated (the northern Sahara, the northern Arabian Desert, various desert portions of Iran and Afghanistan, and the southern Tibetan Plateau). Four of the ten most populated countries on the planet have no territory in it (Nigeria, Brazil, Japan, and Indonesia), and two which do have relatively little territory in it (the US and Russia). It is suggested that for all his boasting, Jason Derulo does not know what a probable majority of the world’s girls want.

Perhaps Jason Derulo’s intention was never to proclaim to be omnipotent to the interests of the female gender. Perhaps he was instead expressing his humanity, or the limits of his knowledge. I applaud Jason Derulo. Jason Derulo is not just another 2 dimensional character. Jason Derulo has depth.Jason Derulo has limitations and has come to terms with them. Jason Derulo knows Jason Derulo. Thats why he makes it a point to say his name so much.

Source: robalyn

22nd September 2014

Post reblogged from Durnesque-Esque with 108,219 notes

So you like chemistry puns…

aceinnatailsuit:

captainriz:

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HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE

IT’S LIKE THE WHO’S ON FIRST OF SCIENCE JOKES

Source: captainriz

22nd September 2014

Photoset reblogged from Conditions🌻 with 88,635 notes

Source: sandandglass

22nd September 2014

Photoset reblogged from Conditions🌻 with 9,687 notes

Source: sandandglass

22nd September 2014

Post reblogged from Thomas Sanders with 48,991 notes

voldemo:

voldemo:

I DROPPED MY CUP OF TEA AND IT WENT EVERYWHERE OH GOD I CAN HEAR THE QUEEN COMING TO MY HOUSE TO DEPORT ME FROM ENGLAND ALREADY

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Source: voldemo

22nd September 2014

Post reblogged from a mess of contradictions in a dress with 310,040 notes

madman-in-a-blue-box-at-221b:

fandomcollector:

hello-hannie:

Omg I’m dying this is so cute! This little girl recreates celebrity outfits with construction paper and tape! 

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http://www.fashionbymayhem.com/

That little girl is going places

this little girl has more of a fashion sense than I do

Source: hello-hannie

21st September 2014

Photoset reblogged from Craziness! with 91,970 notes

daleyprophet:

The Magic Begins ϟ Day 8:  Something you really wanted to be in the movies, but wasn’t - Harry’s Sarcasm

Source: daleyprophet

21st September 2014

Photoset reblogged from This Is Me with 119,157 notes

fantasylanded:

I am a princess

even reading this stupid thing makes me cry like a baby

Source: kristoffbjorgman

21st September 2014

Post reblogged from My Unscripted Life with 201 notes

tildedeanna:

Gryffindor: Bravery, Nerve, Chivalry, Courage, Daring, Strong of Will
Hufflepuff: Dedication, Hard Work, Fair Play, Patience, Kindness, Tolerance, Unafraid of Toil
Raveclaw: Intelligence, Wit, Wisdom, Creativity, Originality, Individuality, Acceptance
Slytherin: Traditionalism, Resourcefulness, Cunning, Ambition, Leadership Qualities, Self-Preservation, Determination, Cleverness, Fraternity, Power

Source: tildedeanna

21st September 2014

Photoset reblogged from Must Be The Music with 193,995 notes

abbythenormalone:

fortheloveofneps:

marththebland:

I can’t believe this is what our president and vice president spend their time on. We’re in 15 trillion dollars of debt, and millions of people are homeless, and abortion is still legal, and instead of signing bills to fix these things our president is doing this. Well I’m glad you’re having fun, you fucking bitch. Fuck the United States. /rant

WAITNDO YOU THINK THISNIS A REAL THING????
THIS IS SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE OH MY GOD

THIS IS THE BEST POST EVER I’M CRYING 

Source: 2x04

21st September 2014

Photoset reblogged from Today 4 U with 65,588 notes

englishpracticenow:

commonly misused words - learn the proper usage of these words to get your way up to any English proficiency exams - IELTS, TOEFL, GRE, etc.

Source: englishpracticenow